Rapture??.....

Good morning all,

Now, this might be news to some of you but 'RAPTURE' is happening today, yes that's today, 21 May 2011, at roughly 6pm, though i'm not sure which time zone this 6pm is in, so it might happen a bit earlier, or a bit later, so just keep an eye out for it. I'd also start packing as well, and if you need to sort out a couple of confessions or take the bins out, today could well be a good day to do it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13482584 <----- in case you have ANY doubts....

Exciting isn't it? I know, I can barely contain myself, waiting to go on my final journey for a life of eternal bliss. In the meantime, whilst I'm waiting I'm putting the kettle on, anyone fancy a cuppa? I have been wondering though, if they're taking so many people tonight for 'rapture', are they putting on extra buses and trains, otherwise imagine the queues!

Oooh, I've just found out I'm not one of the chosen ones. I'm not going to lie, I feel a bit left out. Typical, it's just like being picked for the sports teams in school isn't it, the popular kids always get chosen first!

Well, if that's the case I think I might just get back to not doing my ironing and trying to fathom out what that strange cooing noise is outside??

In the meantime, if you are one of the chosen ones, please let us know what it's like and if we're missing anything.

Till next time...x

P.S. If Ryan Giggs and any of the other super-injunction owners are using this as an excuse just to carry on with their shennanigans, we can see straight through you!!!

She shoots, she scores, she falls flat on her arse....

I've taken to being the next Yoko Ono, I just need my John Lennon. Yup I'm writing this installment from my bed, I'm having a 'lie in', well ish, sort of...ok I'm just being a lazy mare can't be arsed sitting at my desk to write this.

I've officially finished all lectures and seminars for my second year at uni! I know, the time has gone so fast I really don't know where it's gone. Apart from my exams and my Byron paper, I have finished, finito. Scary, scary shit. I'm actually going to have to start thinking about getting a proper job soon, after I've done my MA first, come on, one step at a time!! It'll be dissertation time in September, bring on 18th and 19th century gothic poetry and fiction. Yes, I admit I could write it on anything, absolutely anything: Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, The Only Way is Essex, but noooo. I'm looking forward to it actually, I am looking forward to the challenge, the research, the occasional field trip with the folks to somewhere that might, just might have a leaflet that I might need, who knows. I'm not so much looking forward to writing it, not because I don't want to, more due to the fact I have to find 10,000 words to write, not 2,000. Ah well, what's life about if not a challenge or two.

I am still shamelessly plugging the Black Market Review too. Please check it out. http://www.blackmarketreview.com/ I reward people with jammy dodgers when they have a look at it.

I went to see Frankenstein recently beemed from the National Theatre in London to my local cinema, it was absolutely fantastic. I loved every second. I'm going to see Macbeth in May starring David Morrissey (swoon). I know, check me and my theatre trips!

I have to say though the highlight of my year so far is seeing Elbow in Liverpool last month. Honestly, there are no words to describe how wonderfully brilliant they were and Guy Garvey is the songwriting poet I aspire to be. I was on cloud nine for days afterwards.

So how have you lot been? I hope you've been ok, keeping yourselves entertained in my absence. I know there's an old snakes and ladders/ludo board game knocking around somewhere if you get reeeally bored. Any gossip, any news? Hello to my new followers too, I really hope you like what you read and if you ever want to share words of wisdom, insight or if there is a special offer on kit kats somewhere, please feel free to leave a comment. I do read them you know, and I have one of those 'awww, someone loves me' moments when I see i've got a comment too.

Well my beauties I shall bid you all adieu, good night and sweet dreams.

Till next time....x

It's not neglect, it's tough love.....

Ok, I'm here. Yes, I know, I know, I won't insult your intelligence with excuses, but I'm here and alive and sat in on a Saturday night with a glass of lemonade and 2 cats for company. Wooo, rock and roll!

So what's been happening, have I missed much? Shall I put the kettle on and we can have a bloody good gossip? Hello to my new followers too, you are both very kind indeed and are welcome anytime for a cuppa tea and a kit kat.

Not that I'm all about myself but I suppose I should tell you what I've been up to since I've not been around for nye on three months. In my defence I have been busy, I've been a bridesmaid for the fourth time for my brother and his lovely wife, Dani. It was a lovely day, really nice and relaxing. The studies have been busy and I'm presenting my first academic paper on Lord Byron on 25 May. Yup, squeaky bum time because all I know about Byron is he was a Lord....and a man.....! Stunning revelation that is, not sure I can eek it out into 15 minutes though, I'll give it a damn good try.

I've also taken over at the Black Market Review, http://www.blackmarketreview.com/as Editor in Chief (well I will do once the current edition has been published). To say I'm nervous about it, is an understatement, but it's a challenge and one which hopefully I won't fuck up. If you get a chance, please have a look at it, it really is very good.

There's been more domestics with my neighbours next door than on your average weekly Eastenders plot. It really does make for a fascinating listen on a boring Thursday night. Several evenings have passed with door slamming, crying and shouting of 'your an evil bastard you are'. Ahhh, and who could forget the Polish love muscle from Flat 2 and his infamous 3 second knee tremblers. You'd think I live in the doldrums somewhere, I don't, I only live in Southport.

Well my beauties I think I shall leave it there for now. If you have any gossip you think I'd love (and I do love a gossip) then pass it on.

I'm going to see Elbow tomorrow night at the Echo Arena and to say I am excited is an understatement. I will be worshipping at the feet of Guy Garvey like a lyric obsessed junkie (his lyrics are my kind of poetry).

Good night all.

Till next time...x

Is it new or just the same old....?

I've been lying in bed tonight thinking about new year, a new decade, a new start and a whole heap of resolutions to go with it.

I make the same resolutions each year a) shed the lard mountain that is my arse in my new diet and exercise regime which lasts the exact amount of time it takes me to walk from the sofa to the last of the mince pies in the kitchen cupboard, b) marry the tall, dark handsome (and rich, though not a definite deal breaker) stranger I've been dreaming of since I was 15 c) win the lottery.

I know the first one is definitely a pipe dream, but the other two are definitely 'do'able.....

So are resolutions 'do'able or just a comfort blanket we surround ourselves with after we've eaten all the ferrero rocher and thrown the empty wine bottles for recycling?

I can honestly say, hand on heart, I've achieved all of none of the above. I have made the same ones pretty much year in year out and failed spectacularly at achieving neither.

Firstly, I'm still single. I've just googled to see whether there are more men than women in the world and its roughly equal but men have the slight lead with 101 men to 100 women, so where is he, number 101, the man that's supposed to sweep me off my feet, shower me with gifts and not complain when I ask him to put the bins out 10 years down the line, I'm still waiting.

Secondly, I'm still hauling around with me a derriere which is slowing starting to migrate southwards for the late 30's and shows no sign of going anywhere, though in my defence I actually quite like my curvaceous hips, I would like them slightly smaller, but they've stuck with me through fat and thin so I can't complain (too much).

Thirdly, I need to buy a lottery ticket!

So why do we make them, these resolutions type things. Is it really that we just need a glimmer of hope and something to hold onto to take us through each day of our lives, up until about March when we realise it's not happening and crack open the cheap chardonnay, the family size bar of galaxy and watch the Hollyoaks omnibus in our pyjamas....ok, just me then!

For whatever reasons you make them and whichever ones you make, I wish you good luck. I've decided not to make any this year I'm just going to see what happens. I realised that I've got no willpower and I'm only setting myself up for a fall so I'm embracing the what will be will be frame of mind, and to hell with it. If I'm destined to be married to Jason Statham, I will be.

Good luck for 2011 everyone and I hope it really does bring you every success you wish for.

Till next time....x

P.S. Anyone want a malteser??

Who's for a voddy?

So here it is, my first blog since god knows when. I know, I'm a literary let down but please don't hold it against me, it's nearly Christmas you know!

Well, I've finished for the festive season. A month off, I know! I have spent my first day of the break sat on my arse, drinking tea, watching DVD's and watching people get stuck in the snow at the bottom of my driveway. Yup it's been snowing here. I won't go on about it, we all know what snow looks like etc, but it's caused chaos. If it's not cars getting stuck, gritter lorries have got stuck and I had to drive at 10 miles an hour to get home from my folks last night, I know it's completely out of character and un-natural for me, haha. Needless to say I'll have to dig the car out if it's needed.

I don't know about you lot but I really could do with a festive tipple or two. I think I might treat myself to a small, oh who am I kidding, large festive voddy this weekend. Would be rude not to. Cheers!

Is everyone all sorted for Christmas? I'd like to say I am, but I'm not going to lie, I'm not. Nope, I've written 1, yes 1 christmas card and bought 2 presents. I know, I'm crap. I always say you can't put that much love in a card anyway.

It's been a while since I've shared some pearls of wisdom from my mother, hello mum. Apparently, she was watching Wok Wan the other day, not Gok Wan. Honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

I have a bit of good news for you lovely folks, I've been promoted. I know, me, promoted, who'd have thought it. I'm currently a senior poetry editor on an online publication called the Black Market Review, http://www.blackmarketreview.com/, and when the current Edito

r in Chief leaves after the publication of the next edition, I'm taking over the job. I want to apologise in advance if I f*ck it up and get the boot. I'm very excited but also so nervous, so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

I think I shall leave it there for now. I promise I'll post more over the next 4 weeks.

However, if I don't speak to any of you beforehand, have a fantastic Christmas and New Year, and here's to 2011 and what surprises it has in store for us. Who know's what'll happen but hopefully it'll be a fantastic journey for each of us finding out.

Till next time...x

In the words of that great philosopher.....

Ahhh, it's been a while, well ok, last Friday but I was a bit pished if i'm honest...I know what a suprise to all of us that was, hahaha.

I'd like to say hello to my new followers, Hello. I can offer a Mr Kipling fruity pie with your inaugral cup of tea for stopping by and attaching yourself to my blog,. Thank you.

Well, thats been happening, ermmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well I've been back at uni now for about 5 weeks and am struggling with sentences longer than half a dozen words and that aren't in small columns after spending the summer reading very little other than the Metro and Grazia. So I'm about 4 books read already and still ordering more. Will it ever end?!?!

I've been having a bit of a political rant this week, I'm not a Tory, never have been, never will be, so it shocks me not that we've been well and truly shafted by our new coalition government. I don't often get into political rants because I'm no where near intelligent or politically savvy enough to do so, but it sticks in my clack when we're promised one thing and before you know it, they've blindfolded us all, spun us round and when we've stopped spinning and the blindfold has been taken off (because we can't afford to keep it!) and what we thought was home is actually shanty town built on a dung heap. Thing is, by time the VAT has gone up, jobs have been slashed, benefits and other funding has been cut, we won't be able to afford to get sick, but we'll all end up with rickets because we can'afford any food that's got a vitamin in it. Maybe I'm being a bit of a drama queen but it just really gets on my pip. I won't go on, otherwise all you nice new followers will be off before you've finished your tea and fruity pie.

I had a good old gossip and catch up tonight with Garry, my gorgeous friend and host (when I go and visit) in Amsterdam and it makes me realise how much I miss the place. I know it's different when you go to stay somewhere for a few days and you don't live and work there, but I really do love the place. I can't wait to go back next year. A mutual appreciation of Nigella 'the kitchen goddess' was had too.

I can also confirm that my less that wonderful pool skills haven't improved. I will never be a pool shark, nope not me. Ahh well, can't be good at everything, hahaha.

Well, I'm off to make another cuppa and see what else is rattling around the cupboards for me to eat.

Till next time....x

To be or not to be, that is the question (well I thought it was)....

Don't worry I'm not quoting anymore of the bard, but I think tonight's title pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment.

I've been thinking tonight (blame the wine!) how life would be so much easier if we could get the answers we want straight away instead of having to play a constant guessing and waiting game, ultimately never getting the answer anyway, or at least not the one we want....does that make sense??

I'm in a quandry of a 'do I, don't I, does he, doesn't he' etc etc, you get the picture.

The question is, do I follow my gut instinct which generally hits the nail on the head, or do I throw caution and self respect to the wind, and go for it. Answers on a postcard please.

I'd like to think I haven't got to the ripe old age of what I am now (and not looking a day over 26...!) without picking up a bit of common sense and wise old sagey wisdom along the way, but sadly not. On these kind of matters I stumble and bumble along in complete naive oblivion and more often than not kid and talk myself into something which I could write as a chic-lit novel...don't mention the novel, it's still a very small, not even typed the title page work in progress, again blame the wine.

I am sure in time I will get the answer I'm supposed to get, quite possibly not the one I want though and I shall end up nursing my pinot grigio like a soothing tonic.

Ahh well.

Till next time....x

P.S Sorry if I sound maudling, I'm not, I'm just pondering. x