Bonjour, ca va?
I know it's been a while, I do have excuses but we both know that basically it boils down to my blatant laziness.
Well I've now finished earning an honest crust. I finished work on Wednesday and I can honestly say I'm glad. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed working there and was very lucky to have a temp job which lasted the whole summer, but now I just want to get started back at uni.
I've also had my last holiday of the year too. I went to Paris. It was utterly amazing and I loved every second, though it did kind of turn into two holidays for the price of one, what started out as a one night stay turned into three nights, thanks to Easyjet, the French and Eurodisney. Yup, I got caught in one of the famous French downtools and sod the consquences strikes. Our flight home was cancelled and after much running up and down airports, sweating, exascberated pleadings and general thoughts of 'ah, fuck it' we were re-housed in euro disney for 2 days and nights. I can honestly say it's on of the funniest holidays I've ever had.
Now for anyone who knows me I am the least Disney person you know, shoes are my disney, as are handbags, clothes and other paraphanalia, but I will admit with my hand on my heart that it really is a fatantastic place if you like that sort of thing. Don't get me wrong I really enjoyed myself but after an hour shopping in the Disney store, I was starting to go slightly insane and had to make my escape and sit outside, and you certainly don't expect to see folk going past your bedroom window in a morning on a horse and have Bonanza, The Good The Bad and the Ugly, and Calamity Jane tickling your ear drums all day every day. It all just added to the spirit of the holiday though.
Paris was amazing. It is romantic and I was there with one of my best friends who I love dearly, but it would also be fabulous to share it with that someone special who captures your heart just like the city does. I am going to try and post the link to the photo's on my facebook page on here for anyone who wants a look. It is, without a doubt a city you need to visit.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=201969&id=731666864&l=a559f4833b
The highlight though, was the Eiffel tower sparkling at night. It just made the holiday for me and was so beautiful. It captivates every fibre of you and I defy anyone not to be wowed by it.
I love travelling.
Till next time....x
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Wednesday 25 August 2010
What would I say to my 18 year old self....
This blog has been inspired by another blog I read, http://www.ladywholunches.net/blog/ and it really got me thinking.
I am in my 30's, yes I know I don't look a day over 27 but the genes are good and the years have been kind...(ahem).
Anyway, I started writing a diary when I was 16 and I've still got it, I wrote in it and off for about three years, and I read it not so long ago. I was not so surprised to read that I haven't changed much. I still daydream (quite a bit actually) about guys, drink vodka, go clubbing (though no where near as much as I used to, c'mon I'm getting on you know) but one thing has changed dramatically in the years between 18 and now, I don't give a fuck what folk think, nowhere near as much as I used to (sorry for swearing mum, but the eff word was needed for emphasis).
I don't though. When I was going through my teens and twenties, peoples opinion of me mattered so much, it made me a bit insecure I suspect. I'd just come out the other side of puberty where I was an utter cow, probably to everyone I came into contact with, and I was a grown adult. I'd had quite sheltered life up until that point, so I think I was quite naive on how life worked, what was expected of me, how I had to act and behave etc., and now I realise that what was expected of me was no where near as bad as I thought it was. My folks only wanted me to be happy and that whatever I did, career wise etc, I did the best to my ability. That's all anyone could want from me.
I remember reading my diary about 10 years after I first wrote it and whilst I was probably having the same neurosis then as I was when I first wrote it, I felt sorry for my 16 year old self and wished that I had the hindsight to go back and change things which could have led me down a completley different path - worked harder for my exams, chosen my friends more carefully and realised that some of the clothes I wore at that age should be condemned to never been seen in daylight again (bad, bad, bad). I was trying to express myself and it didn't quite work out as planned, I didn't become a fashion leader, more of a fashion dead weight.
When I was 18 it was as if I had been given a blank note book and that each day forward was the pen I needed to document my life's day to day, dreams, goals, aspirations. I've never known what I wanted for a career, I've wanted to be everything from a Trolley Dolly to a Disco Dolly and most things in between. I kind of just became a secretary, it was definitely not my chosen career path, but it has done me good over the years and it's my trade, and will always earn me a crust when the need arises.
I look back on my life then and whilst I can't remember most of what happened (a vodka fuelled haze more likely), I do know I enjoyed myself and life. I had some good friends who are still around today and I had my family.
So what would I tell my 18 year old self now if I could go back in time (obviously wearing fantastic shoes), I'd tell myself to stop trying to hard, be yourself and when you get to your ancient and decrepid 30's, you won't give a fuck what people think about you, because you'll meet some people during your journey who will shape you into the person you're going to be. Always have a smile and a good ear and never let anyone put you down.
But most of all I would tell myself to follow your dreams, no one will do it for you and the only person you have to thank will be yourself.
Till next time....x
I am in my 30's, yes I know I don't look a day over 27 but the genes are good and the years have been kind...(ahem).
Anyway, I started writing a diary when I was 16 and I've still got it, I wrote in it and off for about three years, and I read it not so long ago. I was not so surprised to read that I haven't changed much. I still daydream (quite a bit actually) about guys, drink vodka, go clubbing (though no where near as much as I used to, c'mon I'm getting on you know) but one thing has changed dramatically in the years between 18 and now, I don't give a fuck what folk think, nowhere near as much as I used to (sorry for swearing mum, but the eff word was needed for emphasis).
I don't though. When I was going through my teens and twenties, peoples opinion of me mattered so much, it made me a bit insecure I suspect. I'd just come out the other side of puberty where I was an utter cow, probably to everyone I came into contact with, and I was a grown adult. I'd had quite sheltered life up until that point, so I think I was quite naive on how life worked, what was expected of me, how I had to act and behave etc., and now I realise that what was expected of me was no where near as bad as I thought it was. My folks only wanted me to be happy and that whatever I did, career wise etc, I did the best to my ability. That's all anyone could want from me.
I remember reading my diary about 10 years after I first wrote it and whilst I was probably having the same neurosis then as I was when I first wrote it, I felt sorry for my 16 year old self and wished that I had the hindsight to go back and change things which could have led me down a completley different path - worked harder for my exams, chosen my friends more carefully and realised that some of the clothes I wore at that age should be condemned to never been seen in daylight again (bad, bad, bad). I was trying to express myself and it didn't quite work out as planned, I didn't become a fashion leader, more of a fashion dead weight.
When I was 18 it was as if I had been given a blank note book and that each day forward was the pen I needed to document my life's day to day, dreams, goals, aspirations. I've never known what I wanted for a career, I've wanted to be everything from a Trolley Dolly to a Disco Dolly and most things in between. I kind of just became a secretary, it was definitely not my chosen career path, but it has done me good over the years and it's my trade, and will always earn me a crust when the need arises.
I look back on my life then and whilst I can't remember most of what happened (a vodka fuelled haze more likely), I do know I enjoyed myself and life. I had some good friends who are still around today and I had my family.
So what would I tell my 18 year old self now if I could go back in time (obviously wearing fantastic shoes), I'd tell myself to stop trying to hard, be yourself and when you get to your ancient and decrepid 30's, you won't give a fuck what people think about you, because you'll meet some people during your journey who will shape you into the person you're going to be. Always have a smile and a good ear and never let anyone put you down.
But most of all I would tell myself to follow your dreams, no one will do it for you and the only person you have to thank will be yourself.
Till next time....x
Friday 20 August 2010
Black stained eyes.....
She sat staring at the dark blue line on the horizon, the thinly veiled division between heaven and hell.
Her salty, sorrow filled tears had melted the black mascara which coated each eyelash like a protective barrier against what's natural. With each tear came a black and murky streak of hate down each cheek. Never had she failed to realise how dead inside it made her feel.
She stared. Long, hard, black stares. Nothing.
Another tear released itself from the corner of her eye and taking with it more of the cold, numb pain she felt, each one representing more of what she hated about herself. Never again she vowed, never again.
The horizon never moved, it stayed that thin dark line between heaven and hell and she knew that walking that line could be what changes everything.
Her salty, sorrow filled tears had melted the black mascara which coated each eyelash like a protective barrier against what's natural. With each tear came a black and murky streak of hate down each cheek. Never had she failed to realise how dead inside it made her feel.
She stared. Long, hard, black stares. Nothing.
Another tear released itself from the corner of her eye and taking with it more of the cold, numb pain she felt, each one representing more of what she hated about herself. Never again she vowed, never again.
The horizon never moved, it stayed that thin dark line between heaven and hell and she knew that walking that line could be what changes everything.
Tuesday 10 August 2010
Rinky Dink Pink.....
Howdy doodles all 10, YES 10 of you. I think I might have to get some extra mugs and drafting in emergency chairs for everyone.
Firstly, I would like to welcome my 10th follower. Hello. I hope you like inane ramblings, cups of tea and the occasional soap box campaign (I don't campaign on behalf of soap boxes, I think they're covered under they're own union), but I occasionally clamber up onto one, rant on for a few minutes and then shuffle off back to my corner. I hope you like it, would you like a cup of tea?
I'm back from a few days of Pride parades, tequila swigging, drag queen chasing, beer slurping, more sequins than you can shake a Febo burger at, fantastic friends weekend in Amsterdam. I went over for Pride and my friend Rob's 40th birthday. It was such a good weekend and I'm cloggy home sick and want to go back again. Before you hear it from anyone else, yes I did get extremely pished on Friday night and chased drag queens around so I could have my photo taken with them. Honestly, I shouldn't be let out in public sometimes.....
I stayed with Garry again who's spare room was my home for 4 nights. I got to see all my gorgeous friends over there, I would name you all personally but you know who you are and as I always say you can't put that much love in a blog post!!
Happy 18th Birthday to Alex Moonen for tomorrow. Have a fantastic Birthday Alex.
So enough of my free flowing whitter, how are you all? Is everyone having a good summer so far, anyone developed webbed feet or trench foot because of all the rain??
Tuesday night is having tea at my folks after work night or HTAMFAWN...not very catchy, might have to work on that I think. Anyway, I was chatting away with my mum and she said to me 'I wouldn't mind one of those Ben Sherman Grills you know'....'do you mean a George Foreman Grill mum?'. Slippery slope, veeeerrrrrry slippery slope. Hello Mum!
Well I think I'll call it a night, I'm going to see what's been happening in the world on the BBC and head off for an early night. I sound such a boring Dolly, I don't blame any of you for deserting me and finding a more interesting blog to read, I won't be offended.
Till next time....x
Firstly, I would like to welcome my 10th follower. Hello. I hope you like inane ramblings, cups of tea and the occasional soap box campaign (I don't campaign on behalf of soap boxes, I think they're covered under they're own union), but I occasionally clamber up onto one, rant on for a few minutes and then shuffle off back to my corner. I hope you like it, would you like a cup of tea?
I'm back from a few days of Pride parades, tequila swigging, drag queen chasing, beer slurping, more sequins than you can shake a Febo burger at, fantastic friends weekend in Amsterdam. I went over for Pride and my friend Rob's 40th birthday. It was such a good weekend and I'm cloggy home sick and want to go back again. Before you hear it from anyone else, yes I did get extremely pished on Friday night and chased drag queens around so I could have my photo taken with them. Honestly, I shouldn't be let out in public sometimes.....
I stayed with Garry again who's spare room was my home for 4 nights. I got to see all my gorgeous friends over there, I would name you all personally but you know who you are and as I always say you can't put that much love in a blog post!!
Happy 18th Birthday to Alex Moonen for tomorrow. Have a fantastic Birthday Alex.
So enough of my free flowing whitter, how are you all? Is everyone having a good summer so far, anyone developed webbed feet or trench foot because of all the rain??
Tuesday night is having tea at my folks after work night or HTAMFAWN...not very catchy, might have to work on that I think. Anyway, I was chatting away with my mum and she said to me 'I wouldn't mind one of those Ben Sherman Grills you know'....'do you mean a George Foreman Grill mum?'. Slippery slope, veeeerrrrrry slippery slope. Hello Mum!
Well I think I'll call it a night, I'm going to see what's been happening in the world on the BBC and head off for an early night. I sound such a boring Dolly, I don't blame any of you for deserting me and finding a more interesting blog to read, I won't be offended.
Till next time....x
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