Cup of tea....?

I've not been on here for a few months, what can I say, I've been a busy lass. I suppose that's no excuse really is it, but you know me, I only say something if I have something to say or I'm bored and fancy whittering on for a few minutes.

A lot has happened since we last met and we shared a cup of tea and a kitkat. Not all of it is worth telling you, some of it is just self-preservation and some of it is just boring and you'd be waving me ta-ra before you'd finished the paragraph. I can tell you I turned 37 (I know, I don't look a day over 26, ahem), got so disgustingly drunk I'm now completely tee-total (apart from a cheeky drink at my works Christmas do in a few weeks), and I'm trying to get my arse into gear with Uni work....and failing completely miserably, but we all can't be good at everything.

As you all know I write, not as often as I should or anything that's going to win me the next Man Booker Prize, but I like to do it for catharsis and therapy. The other day I found something I wrote about 6 years ago. It's probably the most honest thing I've ever written and it was a big blast from the past, but also a huge insight to where my life was at the time and how much I've moved on since then. It felt like I was going back and reading my old teenage diary, like I was invading my own privacy. I didn't read it all, just the first page, that was enough, it's best left in the past.

I've been on a bit of a book buying frenzy recently and I've been buying books I've never read, should read and some for just pure indulgence. It makes a change from buying clothes and shoes all the time.....ooooh I really do need to go shoe shopping though.

It's not arf gone cold now hasn't it? It seems like summer, or what we very very loosely called a summer...lets face it, it was just warmer rain, was so long ago. I hate the cold, I'm so nesh it's pathetic, anything cooler than 15 degrees and I'm ready to get out the blankets and put the heating on.

Well, I think it's time for me to put the kettle on. A friend recently called me a tea whore, and I can hardly deny it :)

Hopefully, I won't leave it as long next time.

Till next time....x

P.S. I'm going to see Bryan Adams in two weeks and I'm so excited I might literally wet myself!

You're looking a bit gorgeous today...

...yes you are, don't blush, it's true, must be the flush of summer.

Well, it's all been a bit busy of late really, since uni finished in May, I've done a trip to Amsterdam. Yes it was brilliant, yes I got unbelievably pissed at happy hour, yes, I suffered the day after and yes I got sun burnt, but altogether a bloody fantastic trip as always.

I've been working 2 jobs recently, my temp secretary job, and now I've got an evening and weekend job working in my local spar. I love it, I really do. Yes, I'm on my feet all day and they throb more than the pubescent front row of a Justin Bieber gig, but it's good.

I've gone glossy magazine crazy this week, i've resisted them for months because of not having time to read them but i'm like a junky for them at the moment. It doesn't help there's loads of brilliant freebies on the front of them "MAGPIE ALERT, MAGPIE ALERT', much better than the usual novel and beach bag of yesteryear. I am a sucker for them, I am a 'magazine editor giving away freebies to entice you to buy it's', dream, I really am. My personal favourites are Glamour and Grazia, followed closely at the heels by Marie Claire...and then Now magazine for brash celebrity titillation and gossip, with OK pulling up the rear (excuse the pun, ahem), just for the photos.

Talking of photo's, I've recently branched out into my destined career of international supermodel, uh huh, yup, you are now looking at, the new Kate Moss/Beyonce/Cindy Crawford. I know, it's a calling. I shall post a little post photo papping pic on here when I receive it. It was a cracking day and as the old adage goes, you can't polish a turd, but as my lovely friend Garry says, you can dip it in glitter (or a 6 inch thick layer of make-up(depending on the circumstances)) and make it sparkle.

I have a couple of shout outs tonight, firstly to Diane who turned 40 on 22 June, Happy Birthday and also a hello to Chuckles, hello.

Well you bunch of hotties, I'm off for some much needed beauty sleep.....what's that you say, i don't need it - oh you silver tongued charmers!

Till next time....x

P.S I read an article today about a girl who makes about £60,000 a year revenue from posting photo's of her daily outfits on her blog. I did briefly consider this but there are only so many ways you can jazz up a boring black office suit or jeans, without it looking like you have nothing else in your wardrobe, and without having to drag out that vintage 80's (for vintage read, emotionally attached to the memories) outfit.

Rapture??.....

Good morning all,

Now, this might be news to some of you but 'RAPTURE' is happening today, yes that's today, 21 May 2011, at roughly 6pm, though i'm not sure which time zone this 6pm is in, so it might happen a bit earlier, or a bit later, so just keep an eye out for it. I'd also start packing as well, and if you need to sort out a couple of confessions or take the bins out, today could well be a good day to do it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13482584 <----- in case you have ANY doubts....

Exciting isn't it? I know, I can barely contain myself, waiting to go on my final journey for a life of eternal bliss. In the meantime, whilst I'm waiting I'm putting the kettle on, anyone fancy a cuppa? I have been wondering though, if they're taking so many people tonight for 'rapture', are they putting on extra buses and trains, otherwise imagine the queues!

Oooh, I've just found out I'm not one of the chosen ones. I'm not going to lie, I feel a bit left out. Typical, it's just like being picked for the sports teams in school isn't it, the popular kids always get chosen first!

Well, if that's the case I think I might just get back to not doing my ironing and trying to fathom out what that strange cooing noise is outside??

In the meantime, if you are one of the chosen ones, please let us know what it's like and if we're missing anything.

Till next time...x

P.S. If Ryan Giggs and any of the other super-injunction owners are using this as an excuse just to carry on with their shennanigans, we can see straight through you!!!

She shoots, she scores, she falls flat on her arse....

I've taken to being the next Yoko Ono, I just need my John Lennon. Yup I'm writing this installment from my bed, I'm having a 'lie in', well ish, sort of...ok I'm just being a lazy mare can't be arsed sitting at my desk to write this.

I've officially finished all lectures and seminars for my second year at uni! I know, the time has gone so fast I really don't know where it's gone. Apart from my exams and my Byron paper, I have finished, finito. Scary, scary shit. I'm actually going to have to start thinking about getting a proper job soon, after I've done my MA first, come on, one step at a time!! It'll be dissertation time in September, bring on 18th and 19th century gothic poetry and fiction. Yes, I admit I could write it on anything, absolutely anything: Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, The Only Way is Essex, but noooo. I'm looking forward to it actually, I am looking forward to the challenge, the research, the occasional field trip with the folks to somewhere that might, just might have a leaflet that I might need, who knows. I'm not so much looking forward to writing it, not because I don't want to, more due to the fact I have to find 10,000 words to write, not 2,000. Ah well, what's life about if not a challenge or two.

I am still shamelessly plugging the Black Market Review too. Please check it out. http://www.blackmarketreview.com/ I reward people with jammy dodgers when they have a look at it.

I went to see Frankenstein recently beemed from the National Theatre in London to my local cinema, it was absolutely fantastic. I loved every second. I'm going to see Macbeth in May starring David Morrissey (swoon). I know, check me and my theatre trips!

I have to say though the highlight of my year so far is seeing Elbow in Liverpool last month. Honestly, there are no words to describe how wonderfully brilliant they were and Guy Garvey is the songwriting poet I aspire to be. I was on cloud nine for days afterwards.

So how have you lot been? I hope you've been ok, keeping yourselves entertained in my absence. I know there's an old snakes and ladders/ludo board game knocking around somewhere if you get reeeally bored. Any gossip, any news? Hello to my new followers too, I really hope you like what you read and if you ever want to share words of wisdom, insight or if there is a special offer on kit kats somewhere, please feel free to leave a comment. I do read them you know, and I have one of those 'awww, someone loves me' moments when I see i've got a comment too.

Well my beauties I shall bid you all adieu, good night and sweet dreams.

Till next time....x

It's not neglect, it's tough love.....

Ok, I'm here. Yes, I know, I know, I won't insult your intelligence with excuses, but I'm here and alive and sat in on a Saturday night with a glass of lemonade and 2 cats for company. Wooo, rock and roll!

So what's been happening, have I missed much? Shall I put the kettle on and we can have a bloody good gossip? Hello to my new followers too, you are both very kind indeed and are welcome anytime for a cuppa tea and a kit kat.

Not that I'm all about myself but I suppose I should tell you what I've been up to since I've not been around for nye on three months. In my defence I have been busy, I've been a bridesmaid for the fourth time for my brother and his lovely wife, Dani. It was a lovely day, really nice and relaxing. The studies have been busy and I'm presenting my first academic paper on Lord Byron on 25 May. Yup, squeaky bum time because all I know about Byron is he was a Lord....and a man.....! Stunning revelation that is, not sure I can eek it out into 15 minutes though, I'll give it a damn good try.

I've also taken over at the Black Market Review, http://www.blackmarketreview.com/as Editor in Chief (well I will do once the current edition has been published). To say I'm nervous about it, is an understatement, but it's a challenge and one which hopefully I won't fuck up. If you get a chance, please have a look at it, it really is very good.

There's been more domestics with my neighbours next door than on your average weekly Eastenders plot. It really does make for a fascinating listen on a boring Thursday night. Several evenings have passed with door slamming, crying and shouting of 'your an evil bastard you are'. Ahhh, and who could forget the Polish love muscle from Flat 2 and his infamous 3 second knee tremblers. You'd think I live in the doldrums somewhere, I don't, I only live in Southport.

Well my beauties I think I shall leave it there for now. If you have any gossip you think I'd love (and I do love a gossip) then pass it on.

I'm going to see Elbow tomorrow night at the Echo Arena and to say I am excited is an understatement. I will be worshipping at the feet of Guy Garvey like a lyric obsessed junkie (his lyrics are my kind of poetry).

Good night all.

Till next time...x

Is it new or just the same old....?

I've been lying in bed tonight thinking about new year, a new decade, a new start and a whole heap of resolutions to go with it.

I make the same resolutions each year a) shed the lard mountain that is my arse in my new diet and exercise regime which lasts the exact amount of time it takes me to walk from the sofa to the last of the mince pies in the kitchen cupboard, b) marry the tall, dark handsome (and rich, though not a definite deal breaker) stranger I've been dreaming of since I was 15 c) win the lottery.

I know the first one is definitely a pipe dream, but the other two are definitely 'do'able.....

So are resolutions 'do'able or just a comfort blanket we surround ourselves with after we've eaten all the ferrero rocher and thrown the empty wine bottles for recycling?

I can honestly say, hand on heart, I've achieved all of none of the above. I have made the same ones pretty much year in year out and failed spectacularly at achieving neither.

Firstly, I'm still single. I've just googled to see whether there are more men than women in the world and its roughly equal but men have the slight lead with 101 men to 100 women, so where is he, number 101, the man that's supposed to sweep me off my feet, shower me with gifts and not complain when I ask him to put the bins out 10 years down the line, I'm still waiting.

Secondly, I'm still hauling around with me a derriere which is slowing starting to migrate southwards for the late 30's and shows no sign of going anywhere, though in my defence I actually quite like my curvaceous hips, I would like them slightly smaller, but they've stuck with me through fat and thin so I can't complain (too much).

Thirdly, I need to buy a lottery ticket!

So why do we make them, these resolutions type things. Is it really that we just need a glimmer of hope and something to hold onto to take us through each day of our lives, up until about March when we realise it's not happening and crack open the cheap chardonnay, the family size bar of galaxy and watch the Hollyoaks omnibus in our pyjamas....ok, just me then!

For whatever reasons you make them and whichever ones you make, I wish you good luck. I've decided not to make any this year I'm just going to see what happens. I realised that I've got no willpower and I'm only setting myself up for a fall so I'm embracing the what will be will be frame of mind, and to hell with it. If I'm destined to be married to Jason Statham, I will be.

Good luck for 2011 everyone and I hope it really does bring you every success you wish for.

Till next time....x

P.S. Anyone want a malteser??

Who's for a voddy?

So here it is, my first blog since god knows when. I know, I'm a literary let down but please don't hold it against me, it's nearly Christmas you know!

Well, I've finished for the festive season. A month off, I know! I have spent my first day of the break sat on my arse, drinking tea, watching DVD's and watching people get stuck in the snow at the bottom of my driveway. Yup it's been snowing here. I won't go on about it, we all know what snow looks like etc, but it's caused chaos. If it's not cars getting stuck, gritter lorries have got stuck and I had to drive at 10 miles an hour to get home from my folks last night, I know it's completely out of character and un-natural for me, haha. Needless to say I'll have to dig the car out if it's needed.

I don't know about you lot but I really could do with a festive tipple or two. I think I might treat myself to a small, oh who am I kidding, large festive voddy this weekend. Would be rude not to. Cheers!

Is everyone all sorted for Christmas? I'd like to say I am, but I'm not going to lie, I'm not. Nope, I've written 1, yes 1 christmas card and bought 2 presents. I know, I'm crap. I always say you can't put that much love in a card anyway.

It's been a while since I've shared some pearls of wisdom from my mother, hello mum. Apparently, she was watching Wok Wan the other day, not Gok Wan. Honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

I have a bit of good news for you lovely folks, I've been promoted. I know, me, promoted, who'd have thought it. I'm currently a senior poetry editor on an online publication called the Black Market Review, http://www.blackmarketreview.com/, and when the current Edito

r in Chief leaves after the publication of the next edition, I'm taking over the job. I want to apologise in advance if I f*ck it up and get the boot. I'm very excited but also so nervous, so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

I think I shall leave it there for now. I promise I'll post more over the next 4 weeks.

However, if I don't speak to any of you beforehand, have a fantastic Christmas and New Year, and here's to 2011 and what surprises it has in store for us. Who know's what'll happen but hopefully it'll be a fantastic journey for each of us finding out.

Till next time...x