Is it new or just the same old....?

I've been lying in bed tonight thinking about new year, a new decade, a new start and a whole heap of resolutions to go with it.

I make the same resolutions each year a) shed the lard mountain that is my arse in my new diet and exercise regime which lasts the exact amount of time it takes me to walk from the sofa to the last of the mince pies in the kitchen cupboard, b) marry the tall, dark handsome (and rich, though not a definite deal breaker) stranger I've been dreaming of since I was 15 c) win the lottery.

I know the first one is definitely a pipe dream, but the other two are definitely 'do'able.....

So are resolutions 'do'able or just a comfort blanket we surround ourselves with after we've eaten all the ferrero rocher and thrown the empty wine bottles for recycling?

I can honestly say, hand on heart, I've achieved all of none of the above. I have made the same ones pretty much year in year out and failed spectacularly at achieving neither.

Firstly, I'm still single. I've just googled to see whether there are more men than women in the world and its roughly equal but men have the slight lead with 101 men to 100 women, so where is he, number 101, the man that's supposed to sweep me off my feet, shower me with gifts and not complain when I ask him to put the bins out 10 years down the line, I'm still waiting.

Secondly, I'm still hauling around with me a derriere which is slowing starting to migrate southwards for the late 30's and shows no sign of going anywhere, though in my defence I actually quite like my curvaceous hips, I would like them slightly smaller, but they've stuck with me through fat and thin so I can't complain (too much).

Thirdly, I need to buy a lottery ticket!

So why do we make them, these resolutions type things. Is it really that we just need a glimmer of hope and something to hold onto to take us through each day of our lives, up until about March when we realise it's not happening and crack open the cheap chardonnay, the family size bar of galaxy and watch the Hollyoaks omnibus in our pyjamas....ok, just me then!

For whatever reasons you make them and whichever ones you make, I wish you good luck. I've decided not to make any this year I'm just going to see what happens. I realised that I've got no willpower and I'm only setting myself up for a fall so I'm embracing the what will be will be frame of mind, and to hell with it. If I'm destined to be married to Jason Statham, I will be.

Good luck for 2011 everyone and I hope it really does bring you every success you wish for.

Till next time....x

P.S. Anyone want a malteser??

Who's for a voddy?

So here it is, my first blog since god knows when. I know, I'm a literary let down but please don't hold it against me, it's nearly Christmas you know!

Well, I've finished for the festive season. A month off, I know! I have spent my first day of the break sat on my arse, drinking tea, watching DVD's and watching people get stuck in the snow at the bottom of my driveway. Yup it's been snowing here. I won't go on about it, we all know what snow looks like etc, but it's caused chaos. If it's not cars getting stuck, gritter lorries have got stuck and I had to drive at 10 miles an hour to get home from my folks last night, I know it's completely out of character and un-natural for me, haha. Needless to say I'll have to dig the car out if it's needed.

I don't know about you lot but I really could do with a festive tipple or two. I think I might treat myself to a small, oh who am I kidding, large festive voddy this weekend. Would be rude not to. Cheers!

Is everyone all sorted for Christmas? I'd like to say I am, but I'm not going to lie, I'm not. Nope, I've written 1, yes 1 christmas card and bought 2 presents. I know, I'm crap. I always say you can't put that much love in a card anyway.

It's been a while since I've shared some pearls of wisdom from my mother, hello mum. Apparently, she was watching Wok Wan the other day, not Gok Wan. Honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

I have a bit of good news for you lovely folks, I've been promoted. I know, me, promoted, who'd have thought it. I'm currently a senior poetry editor on an online publication called the Black Market Review, http://www.blackmarketreview.com/, and when the current Edito

r in Chief leaves after the publication of the next edition, I'm taking over the job. I want to apologise in advance if I f*ck it up and get the boot. I'm very excited but also so nervous, so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

I think I shall leave it there for now. I promise I'll post more over the next 4 weeks.

However, if I don't speak to any of you beforehand, have a fantastic Christmas and New Year, and here's to 2011 and what surprises it has in store for us. Who know's what'll happen but hopefully it'll be a fantastic journey for each of us finding out.

Till next time...x

In the words of that great philosopher.....

Ahhh, it's been a while, well ok, last Friday but I was a bit pished if i'm honest...I know what a suprise to all of us that was, hahaha.

I'd like to say hello to my new followers, Hello. I can offer a Mr Kipling fruity pie with your inaugral cup of tea for stopping by and attaching yourself to my blog,. Thank you.

Well, thats been happening, ermmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well I've been back at uni now for about 5 weeks and am struggling with sentences longer than half a dozen words and that aren't in small columns after spending the summer reading very little other than the Metro and Grazia. So I'm about 4 books read already and still ordering more. Will it ever end?!?!

I've been having a bit of a political rant this week, I'm not a Tory, never have been, never will be, so it shocks me not that we've been well and truly shafted by our new coalition government. I don't often get into political rants because I'm no where near intelligent or politically savvy enough to do so, but it sticks in my clack when we're promised one thing and before you know it, they've blindfolded us all, spun us round and when we've stopped spinning and the blindfold has been taken off (because we can't afford to keep it!) and what we thought was home is actually shanty town built on a dung heap. Thing is, by time the VAT has gone up, jobs have been slashed, benefits and other funding has been cut, we won't be able to afford to get sick, but we'll all end up with rickets because we can'afford any food that's got a vitamin in it. Maybe I'm being a bit of a drama queen but it just really gets on my pip. I won't go on, otherwise all you nice new followers will be off before you've finished your tea and fruity pie.

I had a good old gossip and catch up tonight with Garry, my gorgeous friend and host (when I go and visit) in Amsterdam and it makes me realise how much I miss the place. I know it's different when you go to stay somewhere for a few days and you don't live and work there, but I really do love the place. I can't wait to go back next year. A mutual appreciation of Nigella 'the kitchen goddess' was had too.

I can also confirm that my less that wonderful pool skills haven't improved. I will never be a pool shark, nope not me. Ahh well, can't be good at everything, hahaha.

Well, I'm off to make another cuppa and see what else is rattling around the cupboards for me to eat.

Till next time....x

To be or not to be, that is the question (well I thought it was)....

Don't worry I'm not quoting anymore of the bard, but I think tonight's title pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment.

I've been thinking tonight (blame the wine!) how life would be so much easier if we could get the answers we want straight away instead of having to play a constant guessing and waiting game, ultimately never getting the answer anyway, or at least not the one we want....does that make sense??

I'm in a quandry of a 'do I, don't I, does he, doesn't he' etc etc, you get the picture.

The question is, do I follow my gut instinct which generally hits the nail on the head, or do I throw caution and self respect to the wind, and go for it. Answers on a postcard please.

I'd like to think I haven't got to the ripe old age of what I am now (and not looking a day over 26...!) without picking up a bit of common sense and wise old sagey wisdom along the way, but sadly not. On these kind of matters I stumble and bumble along in complete naive oblivion and more often than not kid and talk myself into something which I could write as a chic-lit novel...don't mention the novel, it's still a very small, not even typed the title page work in progress, again blame the wine.

I am sure in time I will get the answer I'm supposed to get, quite possibly not the one I want though and I shall end up nursing my pinot grigio like a soothing tonic.

Ahh well.

Till next time....x

P.S Sorry if I sound maudling, I'm not, I'm just pondering. x

Love plus one.....

Well my lovely readers, Dolly's back at Uni and I already feel even more even thick than when I left in April. I've got more books than Waterstones and a stoop is well on the way to being formed from carrying them all, but it doesn't half feel good to be back. Life seems to be back to it's natural order again and I like it. If I thought the first year was hard, that was nothing compared to what I've got waiting for me....BRING IT ON!

I'm listening to threeten radio on itunes at the moment and being taken right back to the 80's, ahhh the memories.

Well tonight it was short but most definitely sweet.

Till next time....x

Of all the gin joints in all the world.....

Bonjour, ca va?

I know it's been a while, I do have excuses but we both know that basically it boils down to my blatant laziness.

Well I've now finished earning an honest crust. I finished work on Wednesday and I can honestly say I'm glad. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed working there and was very lucky to have a temp job which lasted the whole summer, but now I just want to get started back at uni.

I've also had my last holiday of the year too. I went to Paris. It was utterly amazing and I loved every second, though it did kind of turn into two holidays for the price of one, what started out as a one night stay turned into three nights, thanks to Easyjet, the French and Eurodisney. Yup, I got caught in one of the famous French downtools and sod the consquences strikes. Our flight home was cancelled and after much running up and down airports, sweating, exascberated pleadings and general thoughts of 'ah, fuck it' we were re-housed in euro disney for 2 days and nights. I can honestly say it's on of the funniest holidays I've ever had.

Now for anyone who knows me I am the least Disney person you know, shoes are my disney, as are handbags, clothes and other paraphanalia, but I will admit with my hand on my heart that it really is a fatantastic place if you like that sort of thing. Don't get me wrong I really enjoyed myself but after an hour shopping in the Disney store, I was starting to go slightly insane and had to make my escape and sit outside, and you certainly don't expect to see folk going past your bedroom window in a morning on a horse and have Bonanza, The Good The Bad and the Ugly, and Calamity Jane tickling your ear drums all day every day. It all just added to the spirit of the holiday though.

Paris was amazing. It is romantic and I was there with one of my best friends who I love dearly, but it would also be fabulous to share it with that someone special who captures your heart just like the city does. I am going to try and post the link to the photo's on my facebook page on here for anyone who wants a look. It is, without a doubt a city you need to visit.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=201969&id=731666864&l=a559f4833b

The highlight though, was the Eiffel tower sparkling at night. It just made the holiday for me and was so beautiful. It captivates every fibre of you and I defy anyone not to be wowed by it.

I love travelling.

Till next time....x

What would I say to my 18 year old self....

This blog has been inspired by another blog I read, http://www.ladywholunches.net/blog/ and it really got me thinking.

I am in my 30's, yes I know I don't look a day over 27 but the genes are good and the years have been kind...(ahem).

Anyway, I started writing a diary when I was 16 and I've still got it, I wrote in it and off for about three years, and I read it not so long ago. I was not so surprised to read that I haven't changed much. I still daydream (quite a bit actually) about guys, drink vodka, go clubbing (though no where near as much as I used to, c'mon I'm getting on you know) but one thing has changed dramatically in the years between 18 and now, I don't give a fuck what folk think, nowhere near as much as I used to (sorry for swearing mum, but the eff word was needed for emphasis).

I don't though. When I was going through my teens and twenties, peoples opinion of me mattered so much, it made me a bit insecure I suspect. I'd just come out the other side of puberty where I was an utter cow, probably to everyone I came into contact with, and I was a grown adult. I'd had quite sheltered life up until that point, so I think I was quite naive on how life worked, what was expected of me, how I had to act and behave etc., and now I realise that what was expected of me was no where near as bad as I thought it was. My folks only wanted me to be happy and that whatever I did, career wise etc, I did the best to my ability. That's all anyone could want from me.

I remember reading my diary about 10 years after I first wrote it and whilst I was probably having the same neurosis then as I was when I first wrote it, I felt sorry for my 16 year old self and wished that I had the hindsight to go back and change things which could have led me down a completley different path - worked harder for my exams, chosen my friends more carefully and realised that some of the clothes I wore at that age should be condemned to never been seen in daylight again (bad, bad, bad). I was trying to express myself and it didn't quite work out as planned, I didn't become a fashion leader, more of a fashion dead weight.

When I was 18 it was as if I had been given a blank note book and that each day forward was the pen I needed to document my life's day to day, dreams, goals, aspirations. I've never known what I wanted for a career, I've wanted to be everything from a Trolley Dolly to a Disco Dolly and most things in between. I kind of just became a secretary, it was definitely not my chosen career path, but it has done me good over the years and it's my trade, and will always earn me a crust when the need arises.

I look back on my life then and whilst I can't remember most of what happened (a vodka fuelled haze more likely), I do know I enjoyed myself and life. I had some good friends who are still around today and I had my family.

So what would I tell my 18 year old self now if I could go back in time (obviously wearing fantastic shoes), I'd tell myself to stop trying to hard, be yourself and when you get to your ancient and decrepid 30's, you won't give a fuck what people think about you, because you'll meet some people during your journey who will shape you into the person you're going to be. Always have a smile and a good ear and never let anyone put you down.

But most of all I would tell myself to follow your dreams, no one will do it for you and the only person you have to thank will be yourself.

Till next time....x